Photo credit: maivisto.de
“It pains me as I write this, having to raise my daughter in a single household but sometimes as a parent we must make decisions based on what is better for our child. Divorce isn’t so bad after all”
My husband and I were married for 7years. We met in university and tied the knot 4months after we both graduated. We were in love and happy as a couple. But as we both grew within our careers, we started to drift apart, my husband wanted a life of partying on the weekends, travelling and hanging out with his single friends and me having to nurse his hangover the next day. I love to catch up with friends too but I believe in having a balanced lifestyle.
Divorce isn’t something I wished for the day we married but with us becoming two different people I saw it fit to wake up early one morning and speak to my husband about potentially getting a divorce.
We sat across the table and had a chat. I got my point across with a heavy heart and he agreed... ( nodding along to all the valid points I am making). There was no screaming or shouting. We simply look at the life in front of us and our daughter and made the decision. DIVORCE it is.
There is no hatred between my husband (now ex) and I. But most times, as we grow financially, we also grow to become what we truly are and what we’ve dreamt of becoming but never felt like voicing it because we were two broke students with no vision of the future but to get married and live an everyday life.
To put it simply, with more money, comes changes in our characters (it is important that you have conversations before settling down about what you both see yourself doing if you were to become successful individuals in the future).
We have become two completely different souls (one wanting a settled life the other wanting the opposite) but we have a daughter together and with that in mind, we decided we wanted to create an environment of positive energy for our daughter and the only way we can do that is by having a divorce.
While Covid19 is going on, my daughter spends the week with me and weekends with her dad. I have noticed the change in both our attitudes. Instead of telling each other “you have changed” we both thank the other for the great job we are doing raising our daughter apart and now have conversations on the phone about our daughter’s sassy moments.
If anything has come out of this divorce, its that, its ok to get a peaceful divorce when you start noticing that you both have changed and want different things in life rather than wait for the moment when you both hate each other and become bitter exes.
My advice to anyone getting into marriage is to look into the future and not be caught up in the moment. I was a young girl graduating university and so was my husband.
Talk about what you both want to be doing in 5-10 years’ time
Where would you live?
How would you raise your children if you decide to have children?
With all this said, I do not regret marrying at a young age. I grew during those years and so did my husband (now my ex husband) and we are both in a happy place knowing we are raising a daughter who sees a good relationship between her parents.