How I Got Over My Fear Of Being Lonely by Lucy N

"being alone and being lonely are not the same"

Photo Copyright: YAO YAO

Making friends was easy. I was always the social one, the life of the party but behind closed doors, I was lonely. I had become so used to being around people, I started becoming fearful of silence. I didn't want to listen to the voices in my head. I watch my friends begin to settle down, housemates move out, new housemates move in and me getting older, reality sinks in.

I said to myself one afternoon: "I won't always be around people" and after my negative experiences in past relationships, I have completely ruled out dating or shall I say, me being caught up in my past drives men away!

Maybe I could end up being the old lady with the cat so its time to battle my fear of being lonely.


Take responsibility for your feelings: you can't rely on anyone else to make you happy. Find your hobbies! Yes, I know with social media being the central focus of our lives some of us will never get to discover what we really love doing. Instead, we want to do what everyone else is doing. You watched a video of someone baking bread. You want to do it too. But do you ask yourself, "am I really happy baking?"

Seek the problem in the past: Does your past still haunt you? Abandonment issues develop early in childhood. Look there to find the solution to your present day fear of being alone.

Build the relationship with yourself: don't waste your time with people not worthy of your attention just for the sake of not being alone. Instead, treat yourself the same way you treat your best friend. Talk to yourself and listen closely because how else will you get to know yourself if you don't spend time with yourself.

Change your mindset from negative to positive: you can't expect to start enjoying your alone time if you look at it as something negative. Instead, look at it as an opportunity to have fun by yourself. Put some music on, work on those dance moves, try that dish you wanted to make but you think you are a horrible cook (if it taste horrible, no one will ever find out)..

You can do whatever your heart desires and more. I have gotten so used to being by myself I feel like a completely different person from my old self.

Have you battled loneliness before? What are your tips?